Sokhi bhalobasha kare koy?

Tagore had asked this question aeons ago...and frankly speaking none of us have the answer till date. We all know how does it feel....it feels good, it feels great :))

But that never implies that the journey is a cakewalk. In case it is, it is something else....love is as much about sharing a life together as like eating your hilsa with extra mustard toppings :P (that's the bong foodie in me talking)

"Jaan jaati hain jab uthke jaatey ho tum"

Farida Khanum sums up the pain beautifully in probably one of the most simple ghazals I have ever heard.

and there is more to it. Just like Gulzaar saab's poetry :)

"sehme se rehte hain, jab yeh din dhalta hain/ ek hi aah bujhta hain/ ek hi aah jalta hain/ tumne koi deep jalaya hota"

I don't claim to understand completely the serenity behind those lines...but the eternity behind them is truly magical.

Just like the dreams of a lonely sunday afternoon, 'us' in our living room.....our favourite songs on the music player......one where he will shre random facts about some stuff I thought never existed...and then he will bear my completely out of tune songs....and then he will say something about the Jasmine- the flower and the revolution. and then I will share with him my new found enthusiasm about finance. He being the pro will tell me where I was fundamentally wrong...and he will buy me books! loads of them.... :) :)

"lokey tobe kore ki sukheri torey emon dukheri aansh"

Realisations...lately.

1. Love makes your world go round....and square, rectangle and what not! It's like watching the stars descend and kiss your feet goodnight...every night :)

2. Have you ever said "I Love you" and meant it? In case you haven't, please do! It will make you the happiest person on this planet.

3. I am nowadays training to be that perfect homemaker. I can now wash bedsheets and jeans on my own, without a washing machine that is. Quite an acheivement for daddy's little girl na? :D

4. It feels liberating when I pay my own bills. Pay through those vouchers when we go to eat out. And buying those flight tickets back home- first time with my own money. I remember everytime I deceided lastminute to go back home when  all the flights were dangeously overpriced and all I needed to do was to call up dad and start crying :P. Did you ever watch that Mastercard ad?

5. I have this huge crush on Shashi Tharoor. Probably the second longest one. And I am just completely in aw of him. Wonder what made him marry a garishly decorated woman like her :( I am jealous! Also, I am yet to finish his article in Deccan Chronicle this week. My bad luck :(

6. I have discovered almost all good loooking eateries in and around Madhapur. I promise myself everyweek that I won't have so much outside food next weekend, but then again friday night comes and I crave for Chinese. That reminds me. I have discovered this amazing small bengali food joint near that Madhapur petrol bunk called "Tumpa". Seriously! it's awesome and so cool on your pockets. so any bong out there (in and around Madhapur/ Jubilee Hills) who is missing home food and ont want to spend so much on that overhyped "Calcutta Cabin" can surely go there. It's alsmot like a Dada Boudi's hotel. And you will be amazed to see the amount of bengalis out here only in Madhapur. Every time I walk down my lane I can hear somebody or the other blabbering his/her way to glory in probbaly the sweetest language on the planet (ok! I will consider Urdu and am yet to learn French so....)

7. I think I am just in awe of someone. That one guy who discusses and gives me random gyan about India's foreign policy. Can educate me big time on India's defense policy. The one with whom I can share my views about Atish Taseer's that 'now' much talked about article. And how he makes a point that Taseer, with all due repect, doesn't make any new point..academically speaking. And then we discuss why is this one special...may be because of that politically overhyped parentage...and the real pain that Taseer faced. You see! I think you are just plain and simple "awesome". Be my friend. Always :)

Saraswati Pujo- not so long ago.

So today is Saraswati Pujo. and like every bongo nari worth her salt, I also have a few memories here and there. But the memories that one associates with Saraswati pujo primarily in the bengali diaspora (read bangalir valentines day and a few more) are somewhat absent in my case. The reasons are varied. One of them is the fact that since the time I have entered college, I haven't been able to attend one single Saraswati pujo. That's quite a 'long' five years. Isn't it?
While I was pondering on the issue about missing out on Sarswati pujo for five years straight during one of the class lectures (International Humanitarian law- was it) today morning that I realised that five years is indeed a long time. Time flies. But leaves a mark here and there. I could never have that perfect Saraswati pujo morning, 'yellow taant sari', jhari mara at para and then a very innocent love affair may be (mishti mishti prem)- the beginning of it, on Sarswati pujo. And I don't think I will ever have one in this life. The age is long gone.

Don't get me wrong. I love being twenty three and am really looking forward to turning thirty (and I have very different aspirations from gul panag on that count)...but I am equally at ease to acknowledge that every age and every passing by year brings with it it's own charm. Think about it. I will not trade being twenty three with being eighteen. and vice versa. Because twenty three has given me the confidence to take on the world (and now that my friend Runjhun has convinced the laziest side of me, I am seriously giving that book a thought). In short, it's like this I am more aware of myself and know that I have something to bank on. and regardless of how much we crib about life, we have all emerged victorious. And Eighteen was all about that lush green innocence with dash of pinks and blue. I still have blues, green and pink on my mind- all over it. But I have to acknowledge it- that starry eyed me at eighteen is widely different from me now at twenty three. And it's true for most of us. Pinks, blue and green stay on...just the quota of innocence (and rose tinted glasses) remain on the statistical flow chart :) You love that chocolate sundae right? And you love it more when you can buy that for yourself and your beloved ones-dad, mom, sister. Twenty three is about that. But that Rupees five candy ice cream(which my mom always told me was made of "nordomar jol"- water out of sewer pits) always tasted sweeter.

And this was about Saraswati pujo, right??? Oh! yes.

I never attended Saraswati Pujo in my school, Nava Nalanda since our founding fathers and mothers belonged to the Brahmo sect (ones among Hindus who do not believe in idol worship). never had the opportunity to attend Saraswati Pujo during my two years in Higher Secondary section in South Point, so don't know about that experience also. But then again people in Nava Nalanda had carefully planned out a completely different Valentines Day for itself. Trust the Nalandites to do that- some of the best brains in the city flocked in there. And any guesses what that day was. Well!! Pochishey Bosihakh, the day we celebrated the birth anniversary of the man who influenced me and continues to do so for generations that will be beyond my comprehension. Yes! Rabindrajayanti (or Nava Nalanda'r Rabindrasmaran was our very own homespun Valentines day (along with a dash of Reunion spirit) with laal paar sada shari, jui phooler mala and hint of first crush. Many of my friends invited their dates to come to the boulevard on that day and though I never had one, I loved discussing every bit of my crush on that young and dapper maths teacher of mine who never really thought anything me about me other than the very chubby para kid. Sigh!


But, I miss one thing about Saraswati pujo...actually two. Wearing Saris. That's the first one. For someone who loves wearing the garment on every other occasion, the day is a dream. My mom would never fuss about tying my sari, because she thought it was one day when I should wear it properly (I still can't neatly drape a sari and my mom always complain that why don't I learn it properly). And the second one is obvious, and you must have guessed it by now in case you even have an iota of hint about the bong foodie inside me. Yes! the Saraswati pujo menu. And there lies a huge twist also.

Most of the bong households (and that cuts through the Bangal-ghoti divide) traditionally prefer having Khichuri and other delicious vegetarian stuff on the day of Saraswati pujo. But people originally from Dhaka, Bikrampur or for that matter my ancestral village Bharakar, have this tradition of eating 'jora ilish' (twin hilsa fish) on the day Saraswati pujo.I am not sure whether it's  family custom or more of a 'lokachar' (custom of the people across a particular region), but that's what I remember. I remember my amma cutting the ilish into pieces after what I described as a 'pujo' with Holud (turmeric) and other memorabilia considered holy in the Bengali household. They were neatly put across in a tray which much to my amusement looked like the tottwo tray (gifts tray) used in Bengali marriages.
My father always had a tough time locating the jora ilish during this time of the year. Later, he switched to bringing two identical Hilsa fishes and then go ahead with the custom. The preparation was simple. The normal ilish beguner jhol (hilsa curry with eggplants), the way its is supposed to be on that day.My mom cooked the perfect variety with a splatter of  kalo jeerey (cumin seends) thrown in.  For me that was simply heaven. Rice and Ilish mach- Perfect bliss for me.
But all that was many eons ago, and that makes me realise- time flies. albeit with brakes in between. It will be five years this Christmas since Amma has left for her heavenly abode. We no longer have jora ilish during Sarswati pujo. It was not possible to get hold of one such jora ilish or for that matter two identical ones and once it was stopped, it was suggested we do not carry it forward any more. (It's almost a general belief in case a ritual or custom is involuntarily stopped somehow, one should not carry it forward or do so with some more customs thrown in- we of course switched sides with Khichuri which is a favourite with my sister and mom.) I haven't been home for any Sarswati pujo in between for the past five years. I haven't attended one single Saraswati pujo in my father's newly done up library downstairs. I have stopped missing the banter every time anybody would come to my house door to collect subscription money for their nondescript club and my father asking each one of then the correct spelling of 'Saraswati' in Bengali and in English.

But I still remain a sucker for that ilish beguner jhol. Everytime, I go back home, my mom makes sure I have enough helpings of my favourite ilish mach with that perfect dash of kalo jeerey. It's that 'one' dish that makes me proclaim that my mom is the best cook in the world. (I have actually three best cooks- My didun, ma and my pishimoni- don't be jealous :P). I still don't get to eat more than one or two Narkel er Kul (not translatable) even after Sarswati pujo. Earlier it was the fear of impending exams. Here it is simply not available- that's why. And I think I will almost end up enjoying the triumphant faces of those children on my doorstep spelling out - dontye shwo, ro, dontye shwoy bwoy, to ey dweerghoyi kar- and my father cheering them "very good" and giving them that coveted twenty rupees note. The inflation might have made the stakes higher and twenty might now spell fifty or hundred- but that is primarily an economist's debate. For me, somethings never change :) :)

Biddhye dao, Buddhi dao :)
Sri Sri Saraswati Debyoi Nomoh!

100th Post: Songs that stay on

So here it is. I mean the 100th post.  Am in two minds to give a Karan Johar-esque Filmfare speech. He apparently cried this time too. But that apart, it's been quite nice a journey...and now when I think about the shit I wrote, I doubt my intelligence. But then again, being emotional is not all about being foolish. Right? It's also about being in touch with nicer sides of life- the ones you share with two cups of piping hot tea. And thanks for all the appreciation and the bitching- both actually. And most importantly thanks for bearing with me. I can be obnoxious, uber senti and a walking talkathon- all at the same time- I guess a few people know that too well. But in spite of that people came back and read my blog. Commented and shared. That's actually nice you know.

I was thinking of doing something nice for the 100th post, when I came across a fellow blogger's list of favourite books. Well, thought of doing that. Actually, that's long overdue since Swayambhu Da has already tagged me in such a post of his. But not in a mood.....actually, I was reading 'Sex and the City' - the novel by Candace Bushnell and to tell you the truth, I am horrified...if that's what critics describe as "Jane Austen with a Martini"- DIE!!! I have silently taken refuge to a collection of short stories by Indian women across all languages (albeit translated in English) and Karan Bajaj's latest. 

So what's the other healer- yes, music. And here it is my list of a few of my favourite film songs which I love to listen and share with all, in no particular order. I am not including a few other genres with which I am mostly identified with (read Robi Thakurer gaan, Chandrobindoo, Suman) primarily because the list will be quite long then.

1. Ajeeb Dastaan hain yeh/Kahan shuru kahan khatam/ Yeh manzeelien hain kaunsi/ Na woh samajh sakein na hum.....

The iconic song with the iconic beauty. This song from Dil Apna Preet Paraya is one of the closest to my heart. Somehow I need to be in sync with the lyrics of a song to like it. And that's what precisely describes my fondness for this song. Serene, Calm and nostalgic. It's all about unspoken words, unsung romances (which as a Bengali fascinates me like anything)......na woh samajh sake na hum- that precisely :)

2. Hoyto Tomari jonnyo/Hoyechi premey je bonyo/ Jani tumi ananyo/ ashar haat barayi.....

Gangar ghat, Soumitra, Manna De, Good ole' Cal. Need I say more? 

What more does a woman want?  (exclude Phuchka and ghotigorom please!) :) :) 

3. Naina Milaike...Jhoot Kapat chhal kiyi ni.....

That Rahman is a magician is a foregone conclusion. But this song is also all about the wordsmith called Gulzaar. I once started learning Urdu quite religiously and it's an open secret that one of the reasons was primarily the temptation to read Gulzaar in the language he is close to, apart form Hindi. 

"Dil ki kachcheri mein muqadma chalai ke....mujrim humein kar diyi ni"

4. Phir Se aaiyo badra bidesi....

Namkeen's soundtrack is full of sweet nothings and this finds a place of glory. More so because the Meghpeon had a story to tell and long back it was all over :)

5. Lajey Ranga holo koney bou go/ Malabodol hobe aj ratey...

Let's face it. We love marriages. I love marriages and all the chaos associated with it. I once remember telling a gathering of pishis, jethis, kakimas that in case (of course I will) I get married it will be full on Indian style- the big fat bangali wedding- three days long. This song is all about that method in madness. 

"khaat dilam, palonk dilam/saatbhori sona/ raibaghini nonodi go khnota diyo na"

6. Uthche jege shokalgulo

Autograph's soundtrack has been a revelation and there is no denying that this was one of the best songs of the year. If only, there was no midriff baring Nandana Devsen!! Raima Sen or Radhika Apte or may be Vidya Balan- they are honorary bongs right? please!- "Khunshuti ar jhograjhati/ adda hobe khub jomati"- that's what we all crave for right?

7. Pachayi Niramey

This is a holy exception to my list of understandable lyrics category. Alaipayuthey, Madhavan, Maniratnam and Rahman in original...bliss!

8. Tumko Dekha to yeh khayal aayaa/ Zindagi dhoop tum ghana saaya

I rediscovered this song on a lazy sunday morning and thought it's the best thing to have happened to me since  the leading man in the movie. Yes! am a Farooq Sheikh fan :)

9. Dekha ek khwaab to yeh silsile huye....

There is something about unrequited love you know. and tulip fields. and probably the most controversial pairing of my father's generation. 

10. Hain aapna dil to awara/na jane kispe aayega...

I have listened to Hemonto Mukhopadhyay in Bengali and I still feel that this is one of his better sung songs. and obviously the panache with he sings it. "Hain ek tutaa hua tara/ na jane kispe aayega"

11. Aamar bhindeshi tara/ eka rateri akashey (re worked version- Antaheen)

Simply because it had to be there. I love the original more. No doubt. But somehow Shantanu Moitra did something really nice with this song. And add to it Anindya's charm (oh! that fichel hashi). Every work of art should be open to interpretation and Shantanu's version was a perfect ode to the original. "Aami payina chnutey tomay/ amar ekla lagey bhari". 

P.S. Anindya, the lyricist, I just wanted you to know- You have given words to those unspoken emotions more than once. At least for me.

12. Pretty Woman- the song.

The movie was fairytale. Richard Gere- a dream and Julia Roberts was catapulted to overnight stardom  And the song- :) :) "fairytale". That reminds me Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy did a wonderful job in Kal Ho na Ho while they reworked it.

13. Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon

I have heard that Mukesh was primarily known as the voice of Raj Kapoor. I wish he wasn't stereotyped because of that. This particular number from "Kabhi Kabhie" makes you fall for that tall lanky guy on screen singing the nagma's so well. And Mukesh is heavenly.

14. Yeh tumhari meri baatein/ humesha yunhi chalti rahein

I love Farhan Akhtar and I love the musical sense he inherited. I loved his raspy voice in Rock On. But the film remains special for this song. Conversations are delightful. Who won't like to describe a relationship like that?

15. Ami Chini go chini tomare/ ogo bideshini

Don't get me wrong and am not like that Youtube junkie who wrote that Rabindranath Tagore wrote "Sokhi Bhabona kahare boley" for Ekti Tarar khonje. But This makes it to the list because of Kishore Kumar. and the picturisation- one of the best picturisation of Robindroshongeet on screen (Ray's genius- what more do you expect?) I think my love for Soumitra is well known by now. So I won't delve on that much. I love the note on which the song ends- "Ogo Bouthakurani"

16. Aami Miss Calcutta 1976

Aparna Sen- Period.

17. Aamar din katey na/ Aamar raat katey na/ Dingulo je kichuteyi pichu hatey na

Choddobeshi was a cult comedy and this song is one of the best of that 'purboraag' mode I have ever heard.

18. Aabke Saajan sawan mein

This one's from Choddobeshi's Hindi remake - "Chupke Chupke". Sharmila Tagore and the fellow bongs (You know Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Jaya Bhaduri- yes! 'them') in the unit to do justice to the story and this song.... "itney badein ghar mein nahi..ek bhi jharokha"

19. Besh korechi prem korechi

Trust Mithu Mukherjee and Ranjit Mullick to unabashedly declare the affair and how! Btw, It was Mouchak.

20. Thare Rahiyo O baanke yaar

I remember Pakeezah for two reasons. Meena Kumari and her feet - "aapke pair bohot khoobsurat hain/ inhe zameen pe mat rakhiye/ mailey ho jayenge" and this song. Lata Mangeshkar- Hail!

21. Dil cheez kya hain aap meri jaan lijiye

Lyrics. Poetry. And if we talk about Lata can the sibling be far behind? Asha ji, you are my favourite. More so because you can only sing "Aagey khud hi janlo/ Iske aagey hum/ aur kya kahein/ jaanam samjha karo"- and at this age.

22. Ei poth jodi na sesh hoy tobe kemon hoto tumi boloto?

And I will close the list with the iconic Bengali Romantic song. This one permeates through ages and generations with elan. Rina Brown! Uttam-Suchitra- need I say more?

And I am not happy because songs like- "sob khelar sera bangalir tumi football", "Jodi hoyi chorkanta oi sharir bhanjey", "Nari choritro bejay jotil, kichui bujhtey parbe na, ora kono law maney na, tai oder naam law law na" :P and "ekey to phagun mash darron ey somoy, legeche bishom chot ki jaani ki hoy" was missed.

Also, "Ke tumi Nandini/Agey to dekhini"- Remember Parar pujo? Ashtami anjali? and Jhari mara?- I know you get it.

And 90's Hindi film songs- You are truly my life line. I can listen to "Ghoonghat ke aar se dilbar ka" and "Ek do teen" anytime. I think I will now make a list according to genres. That sounds a better idea.

Perfect

What happens when you desperately try to locate your 'home' on Google maps?
What happens when you smile at the virtual pleasure of that landmark near by being sighted?
What happens when you cannot enact the 'sugar and spice everything nice' act over and over again?
What happens when you are too tired for 'adjustments'?
What happens when you begin early? Seventeen to be precise. Leave home, start adjusting, fight and smile back at hostile faces?
What happens when everyone around you fails to understand?
What happens when for that brief minute you face the mirror?
What happens when resilience, energy, enthusiasm, charm and the long list of adjectives wear off?

You grow old. You smile back. You cry. You ask for space. You end up at chaos. Chaos within self and surroundings.

You have to be the perfect one. Pretend and play. Bleed and cry. Repeat.

Unoshyar, bishorgo ar Chandrobindoo.

I was first introduced to the kind of music Chandrobindoo makes, in class IX (9). I still remember vividly how the girls of our class gave mickey and rahul the surprised look while they started singing- ta na na nana na and duniya dot com from their album 'Cha'. It was just before the puja vacation in school. I suppose it was either Shukla aunty's class(she used to make special requests- "gao to")or the break when they started singing the popular Malgudi days tune, of course with a 'twist'. Mickey, the funny man of our class later clarified it was chandrobindoo and I was almost five years too late sinc etheir first appearance on the bangla music map.
But then again, I was quick to catch up and oh! boy, how much I loved them! Simply speaking, to any ardent follower of contemporary bangla music they (Chandril, Upal and Anindya) do not need any introduction. For me they are the ones who set the standard for sense of humour, wit and subtlety. The range of music they cover- be it from 'Bhindeshi Taara' (original version-not the antaheen one) to 'Amra bangali jati' or for that matter 'gabgubagub' or 'tomake shonabo joy goshaayi' to 'mon' or 'sei hawa'- it's magical and hillarious at the same time. They are different from the regular 'band' picture we get- three guys with overgrown hair and beard head banging with the guitar and another two sitting on the drums and the keyboard (no offences meant!!). But they look like the average bong guys next door with chandril's sparkling eyes giving a hint of dushtumi going on his mind. Also, I have a very soft corner for anindya's beard apart from his voice and that 'fichel hashi'. But it's their lyrics and soft, melodious music which attracts one to them the most. Long after you are done listening to their songs, the chuckle still remains. They smell of Calcutta, innocent love, nostalgia, lush green of the days gone by and what not. What more can you expect after hearing a song whose lyrics goes like- "marx, freud er kache jeo na, brain ey jhilmil legey jaabe" or for that nostalgia evoking first love fetish that you get after hearing- "shudhu snaner jol ey likhehci daknaam...arey na shona...eka boka thakbo na".
And many more....I sometimes pity poeple who don't understand bangla. Primarily for two reasons- one, they can't read the original robi thakur or sorotbabu or shankar (trust me, his chowringhee has a very good english translation, but nothing compares to the original) and secondly, they can't understand chandrobindoo's songs :P.
So here's to the creators of immortal songs like- "tobu tumi amar cpm, tumi amar atm, tumi amar series prem er sesh ta", "dada didi haat dhorey shiriteyi boshey porey", "aami to chayiboyi- e shohorey tumi nemey esho", "o amar modhyobitto bhiru prem gopon kalshitey", "muchhe dao jolchhap, ashbe na mon kharap...thik 5tar por".....the one's which never fail to uplift my mood. Cheers to them and their music! The best thing to happen to bangla music after Suman Chattopadhyay. (ok! now the fossils fans can shout....torko na holey bangali hoy naki? torko diyei to bojha jaay- bangla gaan ajo bechey ache guru)

this is for the ones who love their music just like moi...am sure there are many.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_idD2SWBqGc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFt_aer7epg&feature=fvw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5EJvSqxciQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZifgKwiqKV0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=futedPK6054&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84IOMi17Ens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiCj8hjiEtY&feature=fvw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5utZcl_ORM&feature=related

Just a random collection- no particular preferences and also, no copyright infringement, if any, is intended. Onek dushtumi r gaan bad porlo..couldn't locate the videos..abar onek 'mon kemon' kora gaan o nei llishti tai...mon kharap koro na tai boley...."bondhu tomay e gaan shonabo bikelbelay.....arekbaar jodi tomader doley nao khela"

P.S- Just before I left home for NALSAR, I wasn't carrying a laptop or a computer, but I made sure I copied the entire Chandrobindoo collection on a CD (i didn't even have a flash drive then) from my didibhai's computer. The one stays with me till date with additions now and then.

Pujo and perceptions

The title sounds like an academic paper but I have nothing to footnote about other than what Prof. Dhanda would have termed as aboriginal research. Or may be if we can consider adda on ashatmi night while pandal hopping as an authentic source for mapping the changing face of the bengali milieu most evident during what else but durga pujo, then why not?
Frankly speaking, I am overjoyed. 'Happy' will be an understatement to convey my feelings at this point of time. The reason? Isn't it quite obvious? A bong writing a blogpost about pujo and being overjoyed after she is done with sending most of her "Shubho Bijoya" sms es- yes! I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to run back home this time. To tell the truth for me pujo and home are synonymous. I don't understand the concept of probashi pujos even after staying almost five years away from home. I missed a few in between and only a bong far away from home can understand what it feels like- those four days. Trust me- you feel cheated! no less.
But this post is not about cribbing and what you miss in probashi pujos- the feel and beat of it. Nope! even with two seminar paper submissions due in some four days and end semester exams around the corner- I can still bet, right now am rejuvenated and replenished. You know how unplanned trips work for some- same happened with me this time. I booked my tickets at the eleventh hour, it cost me a bomb but then again who cares? I got to be home. And once home, it meant choc a bloc plans with old friends, few who have kept in touch and been there since primary school. Friends who are for real and with whom it's always unadulterated fun. Thank you everyone for being there and to tell you the truth, this was one of my best pujos ever. My facebook album already bears testimony to that. It may be because, it was after so long, may be it is because we are slowly but gradually getting used to the ugly side of life- bitching, backbiting et. al. And that obviously includes the unnecessary interest that some people take in my life. of course I feel like a celeb when they. I have absolutely no issues with that.

Ok! I didn't digress. This post is supposed to be somewhat close to heart rant types. I don't know if the bits and pieces here are relevant but this pujo made me realise what it is like having fun. And by fun I don't mean the usual dancing on DJ night like crazy or for that matter the usual crazy stuff like playing hide and seek, water fights etc. that we keep on doing round the year in hostel or NALSAR- I mean the old world stuff. May be it has been long enough, but I rediscovered the pleasure of pandal hopping or fighting with Dactar babu over where to go- Selimpur/Jodhpur Park belt or Bosepukur at around 9 in the night in fornt of Gariahat more. It was just like those 9-10 days in Nava Nalanda when Saibal used to take out a scale an measure up the bench while dividing it into three parts....and while me and aparajita laughed over his idiosyncrasies while sitting in the next bench, he would turn around and protest. Just like he did this time- "uff!! tui rakhto ingreji". Or for that matter the one hour hide and seek game he playe dinfront of shibmondir while we stage managed....uff!!! puro pagol. or for that matter while mickey announced- "tora saibal er theke ekta chlormint o aday kor, ami toder khawabo"...those pleasures of Rupees four bus rides and the squabble over the cab fare. Good ole' days. That reminds me, this pujo also made me and aparajita realise that our midas touch (the great pairing I mean) remian intact.....those were the days when we used to bakraofy people for that alukabli treta, this year ankur volunteered while we coaxed him to treat us at a upmarket South Calcutta restaurant on Ashtami. Or those silly moments remembered with our man eater while cabbing it back home when Apo and me were busy taking his trip. Thank you Deblin for those VIP passes and Agni for the guest appearance. Thank you everyone. And Saibal- even if we make fun of everything you do, you hold our group together. Thank you for everything and organinsing our meets.
And before I forget to mention, the jhari standards have gone down drastically...or may be we are growing too old, but I didn't enjoy Maddox that much this year..went for some half an hour on Ashtami, but the crowd was so so. The highlight obviously was spotting an old geeky classmate having papri chaat with his girlfriend. That and his spiked hair tempted us to go and take his trip...but obviously he looked at us, spotted us and gave a glance of non recognition. I also realised that my para pujo has changed....lots of new faces...no jhaari type remains (sigh!) and of course none of my friends- masume or pamela were there. But then again Ashtami morning is meant for para pujo- anjali and bhog. Nothing changes that or for that matter the polite conversations we have every year in my posh south Calcutta neighbourhood every year. This year the congratulatory messages were an added attraction, more so because of the stiff upper lip kind of brand name that I got in may be. Duly savoured :D And nobomi of course was meant for old stuff - get together of our brother and sister gang with Tups joining us this time but Mam didibhai sadly missing from the scene. And our 'chiroporichito' jadavpur eating out place was the preferred destination this year too.
Baba didn't do his famous dhunuchi naach this year because of the death of many a patrons of our parar pujo.  His silent way of commemorating the lost souls. Though the festivities continued, his gesture was duly appreciated from the sensible quarters. Doshomi made me cry, but then again which bong at heart doesn't cry on Doshomi. I had to come back. But then again no worries...Ashche bochhor abar hobe...or may be I have to save my leaves for a very special occasion that I am really looking forward to.

P.S.- I must say, Bengali women have become more open to choices across the world while dressing up. While Laal paar taant or tusshar remains my favourite on Ashtami and nothing beats that, I was surprised to spot women sporting halter necks with their saris. But please, next time you wear that, just bother to gym a bit and lose some weight. Also, another new entrant was the dress- floral, cocktail or classic evening wear, trust bong women to bring the supposed pub hopping gear or the classy party wear range to maddox, obviously sometimes with disastrous consequences. But at least they tried. Shame on you men- you stuck around with your trousers and the only experimentation was in the form of coloured dhuti- keu dhakka parer dhuti try koro next year, bujhley??

The art of pissing off people- how to undo?

Why am I so good at pissing people off? Why do I always need to speak my mind? Argh! not that I hate being sugary sweet, but that doesn't come naturally to me. But some how, after all these years of 'experience' I  feel that being fake is a virtue.
But the case (or rather cases) in question does not even require me to be fake, just to be a little sane. I had once almost lost a dear friend because of my habit of being outspoken. It took me time and patience to understand that just because I hated his girlfriend did not imply that he will stop dating her or for that matter our friendship will take a toll. Thank god! he knew me well and he eventually replied back to the sorry mail I sent him. See! I am not that bad too. I write rants on my blog and send you cute notes in case I feel sorry. At least I know how to acknowledge my mistake *gives a humble smile*

But then again, this time the person in question is not even someone whom I can send a cute note to or for that matter confront him/her in the dining table or hostel and force him or her to talk to me until and unless he/she laughs and says "maatey samajh gaye hum, bohot hua". I can be the biggest yawn machine and bak bak queen at the same time. But then again, that's how my friends know me and in case am silent for fifteen minutes, they make sure am ok. Happened once. My silence for two days made them ask me stuff like "Paush, chal tujhe ice cream khilatey hain" :P
And I digress! I talk so much. But the point is how do I say sorry or atleast make an effort to bring back the situation prior to this stuff happened in place. Well nothing in particular happened, but I suppose I took too many liberties as I do with friends, which I feel I shouldn't have and then somewhere was rude. Don't know, am not feeling good about it. Nothing affects my mood for long, but this one is....an uneasy feeling. For someone I hardly know, that's quite unthinkable... guess! this goes with my habit of abhorring the thought of not being able to talk to someone properly or that there is a misunderstanding somewhere. Don't we all like to set the creases right?
Only in this case I don't even know what will work? Ice cream, leg pulling, music, poetry, jhogra or bong mishti? any ideas?

Halt.

"Bhalobeshey sokhi nibhritey jotoney aamar naam ti likho/ tomar moner mondirey...."

That he is omniscient is a long forgone conclusion which nobody doubts....but that he brings me closer to the feeling I call love everytime I listen to this immortal creation of his is something amazing. Melancholy is not about grief. It's about being with your self.

So does he mention love or the relationship worthy sorts in this verse?

or for that matter, "Aamar bhindeshi tara..eka ratrei aakashey...ami payina chnutey tomay...amar ekla lagey bhari.."

I know the jump from him to Chandrobindoo was sudden...but quite evident. They make my day.....or for that matter help me cope with melancholy. *Fyanch Fyanch* (Join the broken heart's club- In case you are reminded of your first crush or that cute guy in JU you refused just because you thought he was just a friend. Uff! ....or was it the rat race...the hallowed portals of that law school you cherished??)

FYI- He has a girlfriend now whom he overwhelmingly adores. Not that am jealous but somehow the world would have been a lot different. Who knows? May be I would have been blogging about a pink benarasi silk sari now. (*shrinks in confusion*).

No! this sounds much better!

I sound weird....and this is a very personal post...but needed to share somewhere. Couldn't have gone to jyotika..she has anyways tagged me the hopeless of the rarest variety (romantic I mean).

My sister keeps on giving me all the updates about pujo over phone. She told me all about her shopping plans, the two tops she picked up from the new store near my house, the pandal that is yet to come up, the excitement in her class about the dabangg moves and how will it culminate during pujo.  Yes! another year, another pujo which I am going to miss. I remember my 1st year in NALSAR when my parents came down to Hyderabad to celebrate the pujo with me. On Ashtami morning I visited one of those heavily sponsored Bengali Association Pujos in the city. To say the least, I was heartbroken. Pujo for me or for that matter for every one from Calcutta does have many more connotations of jhari mara, phuchka khawa, maddox, notun sari, hal fashiner juto, shoe bites, biriyani, chinese and many more attached to it than the very obvious religious rituals. I worship the goddess Durga through out the year (though it never assumes the ritualistic skyscraper levels which some of my friends indulge in), but for me pujo is special for it's never to be understood enigma. what do they call..ah! yes, pujor gondho. For the first time that year, I had cried in front of the idol. The emotions had the better of me because I missed Calcutta, home and everything that a nostalgic bong feels. My family was there to comfort me. and thanks to them I managed. Since then I have missed many more and this year will not be an exception. But for me during those 4 days- time comes to a stand still and moves to a time when the sky donned up a darker shade of blue- the time when shoshti mornings meant mapping up all the best idols in the city, lunch in china bowl while cracking sad jokes, navami nights meant baba's dhunuchi nach followed by the jog dance for which we gulped down biriyani at bedwin and ran twinkle toed to grab front row seats. The time when Ashtami mornings meant the grouping up of girls- me, didibhai, mam didibhai, masume, pamela to fight with the boys over the charge of the microphone.....To tell you the truth, I think am growing old. Pujo has put me in a time bubble out of which I am yet to come out. I doubt whether all my friends will be that free on a shoshti morning now. I am sure they wont be. Our half yearly get togethers (when I get home) are pushed back to that weekend when they are free from office.
Today I was having a conversation with a junior form 1st year (fresh blood you see!) and like every other conversation where two bongs are involved it gradually turned towards the revered topic of Durga Pujo. He was talking about Maddox Square, girls and the aura. That's when I realised, the grass had been really greener on that side. Only that the patch of green is long past me.

I so wish my NALSAR years do not end...this fifth year mirth continues. Eighteen till I die? what say? eh!

Things to do.

1. House hunt now that I have got my posting.
2. Shop around for my new house. Will have to look for that perfect curtains and cushions for my room. Have to look for a room mate. Have to buy new utensils and stuff. Argh! why does college have to end.
3. But at the brighter side am already planning to buy that big wall to wall shelf for keeping my books. No more shipping in and out of Calcutta since I am presuming that I will have more space than my hostel room.
4. Have to come to terms with the fact that the five years in NALSAR is almost over. One half of this semester is over. The batch of 2011 is left with only one more semester before we graduate. Time flies like anything. Final year of law school brings back memories of good, bad and not so bad moments I spent here. The NALSAR years changed me for the better. Transformed me to say the least.
5. Now that I will be employed soon, I have to start planning for the gifts I need to buy for my near and dear ones.
6. Before everything else, have to study for my impending mid semester exams.
7. Have to plan out job treats. Now that everyone is landing up jobs, we need to space out the eating out calendar. God! we can hog like anything.
8. Have to start eating in the mess again. I end up cooking something or the other every day. Innovations you know :P
9. Last but not the least, have to sound sugary sweet to everyone calling up with those congratulatory messages. Have been doing that for the past two weeks. The very same people who taunted me when I "decided" not to study science after tenth, the ones who tagged me "a bad student" inspite of my Nava Nalanda-South Point-JU (a while)- NALSAR lineage. Their case in hand? That am studying Law. And what were they doing? studying engineering with a 10,000 rank in WBJEE in some private engineering college (yes, they dared to compare that with NALSAR).
Frankly speaking nothing gives one bigger and better pleasure than showing the "kuor byangs" (sorry can't translate that) their place. They can count on the multiples in monetary terms and the niche, stiff upper lip, snobbish brand value too. am not boasting, neither do I intend to. But for five years I have taken the crap and now I earned this for myself. At least I did not shout from the rooftops that I am the best and others are crap. Be secure and safe about your position dudes and dudettes (sarcasm intended). "Best" people don't need to do that you know. At least I will be doing something I learnt in Law school and is truly interested in. You are doing some thing with codes and stuff right? Err..remind me what did you study in those 4 years of engineering?? :P
The last one got long. But couldn't resist myself from expressing my sadistic pleasure when I see or hear these people's voices on phone now. Bechara :P. Here's wishing more becharapan to you. and oh! yes keep badmouthing me. Gives me extra kicks to perform hard and do better and write such posts.