Sunday, April 25, 2010

Confessions of the predominantly Calcuttan mind.

So there its is. Sunday afternoon and I had nothing much to do. Actually a lot to do, but didn't feel like. so I decided to watch TV in the common room. No one was around so I had the complete liberty to surf and change the channels at my will. I will vouch for the fact that the tv remote in my hand makes me feel liberated and anybody who has stayed in hostel will agree with me. It was then that I suddenly realised that I have been watching a shabby bengali television channel called Etv Bangla (the only one available here without a dish tv or other snazzy stuff) for the past fifteen minutes. I mean that was disastrous by my standards. I have forgotten the number of times I have hated my mom for putting on that channel or something else like that. They really have some sidey shows on and I hate them. you could never expected me to watch etv bangal on a sunday afternoon. But that was then. some 4 years ago when I stayed at home and was not taunted at the regular social dos on being converted to a 'probashi', an allegation which I vehemently deny till date. 
But then again what made me actually watch that channel for so long? The long and short of it was that I was missing home and the bengali chitchat and blabber around me. More so everything Calcuttan. Yes! it was listing out some show to be staged by a theatre group in rabindra sadan on a particular date. And I was listening to it. Am not an aantel and I speak to my family some 5 times a day on phone and I have amazing friends from other parts of the country. But it was just another time that made me feel what i miss the most. A voice shouting on the phone with the background score of honking horns and "Garia, Garia" nagging from the side - "Paushali kalke amra menokar smane theek 11.30 tay meet korbo. jodi deri korechish chotolok tahole toke na niyei hall ey dhukey porbo kintu"
Or may be like some one singing "ek tajmahal gorbo hridoye tomar" in the last class during SPHS days and dedicating it to... (erm) and then a favourite teacher of mine coming from the background (who was till now eavesdropping) and saying- "Porashunota koro theekmoto."
All these happens. Still. I mean I will be in last year of college next semester and these keeps on happening especially with my batch. But the language and the tinkle of it. It's "Legen-wait for it-dary". Or may be its all about romanticising things.
So should I confess? Off course I should. 

1. I cherish and crave for macher jhol bhaat everyday even after having the exotic delicacies around the world.
2. I miss my mom shouting after me and my dad cribbing about me on the phone for so long. I like the pampering during the holidays nowadays but I miss those days when I was in school.
3. I miss evenings. Completely lazy ones or completely weirdly busy ones. The sky had a different tinge those days. Even if I was running late for Hajra sir's tution.
4. I miss buying books dirt cheap or borrowing them. I still borrow books. Only that they are not in Bengali. 
5. I miss bandh holidays. I miss Rs. 3.50 auto rides.
6. I miss being in a city which is so easy on your pockets. I miss being in the city where you can have the best phuchka at the rate of 5 takay 6 ta.
7. I miss bhaat boka. I miss ledge. I miss adda near dakshinapon- golpark.
8. I miss early morning school bus rides. I miss taking trips of our very dear and now dactar babu by translating and singing sharara sharara in bengali.
9. I miss the buzz of the city. I miss the metro ride. I miss the people and hustle bustle. I miss the honking horns.
10. I miss those "damn it, the signal had to go red now only" moments near Anwar Shah more or jadavpur p.s.
11. I miss romanticisng the gullies of Shyambazar, old calcutta, joint family and dreaming about marrying into one. But wait the person concerned needs to be  a bangal. No ghoti food for me.
12. I miss ghoti bangal fights at every tender occasion.
13. I miss being at every family function and that includes my 2nd cousin's baby shower where a random relative pulls my cheeks (yes! i am open to that embarrasment till now) saying - "Kotto boro hoye geche"
14. I miss having a bhalobashar manush (not a bf) who can buy me jibonanondo or sing "hoyto tomari jonyo" near the gangar ghat for real. 
15. I miss torko. I miss socialising with people who think bengal is still the buzz word.
16. I miss fighting with my mom that south is much much better than the oh! so mofussil north. (don't kill me for this. I still want to marry into a typical north Calcutta house- i mean those with khirki janla, dalan etc.)
17. I miss listening to my pishon leaking out nostalgic secrets about who had a crush on whom and who dated whom sessions which started randomly during every get together.
18. I miss being at my para. My pujo. Ashtami morning. Anjali. Bhog and times when "jhaari mara" was an art and I thought "tomaake chayi" and "pehla nasha" coexists and they are for real. (I still do.)
19. I miss get togethers and never ending adda session at Kisha's lake gardens house. 
20. I miss randomly roaming around the city to take a feel of it and then bargaining with the ghorargariwala near victoria when we all were short on cash. 
21. And them promising ourselves to be a part of this "most beautiful city" forever while crossing mohor kunjo.
22. I miss breaking news on star ananda. I miss my morning telegraph and robibashoriyo anadabazar. I miss forming my opinions on them.
23. I hate when my friends blabber about being thrown out of the south city mall food court since they parked themselves there since morning without buying anything and indulging in such good adda.
24. I miss those long walks that me, kishu, suku and all used to take via dhakuria bridge and stopping for phuchka near dakshinapon while returning home from DP's tution.
25. I miss those days when we attached so much importance and romance to the lake. Dhakuria lake. 
26. I miss going for tution at aunty's place in jodhpur park and chatting up with her randomly about everything.

I miss being home. May be that's the only place in this entire world that I will call home. always. 

(Sorry for putting you through this emotional junk. But nobody needs a hug more than me right now.)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Numb and Dumb

I was flipping through my blog posts and the now quite old traffic reader. And wow! I have a stalker. But whoever you are you definitely make me feel like a celebrity blogger on whose blog you keep on coming back 10 times a day looking for something new and look for every possible update- be it on the blog or twitter. But seriously! that old trick of changing locations across the USof A is also not quite helping your case much (I have a bigger trick up my sleeve :P). But anyways who cares! keep stalking, am always happy to have such dedicated fans and help me earn some extra bucks once I activate that 'monetise' option (I still have an ideological debate going on that, err! did that sound communist?)

And yeah, the reason I thought of writing this post is yet to come. In fact I realised that I haven't posted anything worthwhile in some time now. Agreed I had dreadful project submission deadlines to meet (unlike last semester when I was flying up the cloud, I decided to work on them properly this time), pending legal aid field visits-editing work to be done, recruitment comm elections and subsequent worries cropping up phase but still I am not that much a method writer and this isn't just coming to me anymore. Off course, am happy that I don't use my blog as the 'my bf got to this nondescript place', 'am such a dedicated gf' and 'will get married at 20 and fly off to be a 2nd class citizen on a spouse visa' kind of posts on a daily basis. Come on! keep somethings personal, nobody wants to know what the freak suggested about what stone to wear before you marry. Actually, keep that on. I mean keep that recorder on. It's kind of a comic relief in this otherwise very stressed out world. Come to think of it, If I ever had to write something like that what would it be - "Oh! I had an ice cream from Mama's. Lemon licks wasn't available so had to do with mama's 'mango dolly' (lolly). Was caught day dreaming in Corporate Law class." Heck! it sounds so boring. I need a wimp of a bf *now* who doesn't mind me boasting about his achievements since kindergarten on a public forum.

Did I bitch? hell! yes. I love bitching.
But the point remains that I can't write substantial stuff. Hope you come back to me dear old friend of mine.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

ঝড় উঠেছে। কালবৈশাখী নাকি?
কি জানি। অমল আসবে মনে হয়।

তুই এখনও আশা রাখিস?
কেন? ফ্রিজ ফ্রেমের শটটা খুব ওপর চালাকি না?


তারপর সবকিছু লেখা হয়ে থাকে নাটকে নভেলে
আর পন্ডিতের চুলচেরা বিশ্লেষনে।

আর চারু?

P.S. This is what happens when a lonely afternoon beckons you :D
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