Growing up...what a pain!

I refuse to grow up! yes, I detest the idea. I am really hating this phase of my life when everyone around me (I mean female friends of my age) talks only about marriage and boyfriends! gosh! there are better things in life to talk about.

I know am trying to turn the clock back, but i cannot come to terms with 'us' being 21 years 'old'. I agree that it's not merely an observation that your life do really move very fast right now. everything seem to change now and then. But that's not me. Give me my space and time to enjoy ours being just 21 years young.

Ok! i agree that I had been contemplating this for long, but I simply cannot come to terms with my acquaintances talking about finding a "suitable boy" for me. Thankfully, i have a very supportive family in that regard. I don't actually mind meeting assorted exotic species of the opposite sex who have proper grammar and good spelling and don't think one dimensionally about marriage-housewife-compromise-male ego stereotype- but it's too much of a turn off to think that every guy I meet has a hidden agenda of spending their lives with me.

Frankly speaking, I really don't know how my ideal guy will be. yeah! am once bitten twice, thrice......zillionth time shy. Am i being shy? May be- but i don't want another jerk to come up and tell me that he will have difficulties introducing me to his social circle just because I do not fit into that very Indian homely stereotype of "fair and lovely"

Yes! I am a loud, brash girl who behaves way below her age. I can be a public embarrassment anytime (Ah! yes, am warning you). But that's me, that's the way I am. I prefer to be in touch with the inane sensibilities of life which your 10th board marks robbed you off. And I have no qualms in being so. I am just being myself!

On a second thought I think even I have a stereotype in my mind. The Ideal man you see. Yes! he has to be someone who is just not another showpiece trophy that some of my acquaintances prefer to flaunt around. seriously dear, they suck big time with their spellings!...and their perception of life?? the less said the better!- their degrees from their nondescript engineering colleges somewhere or the other (ajkal to kahi na kahi se milhi jaati hain :P) mean the world to them. Kupomonduk! (sorry, could not find an apt english equivalent).

I really don't know if there will be someone who can put up with my idiosyncrancies and that ranges from me falling in love all over again- albeit every two or three days. and my objects of fancy range from the oh! so ouch! Kabir Durrani or the very down to earth guy who did the mime act so well on his first public performance or may be Bilawal Bhutto. (and people who are reading this who do NOT know who is this Mr. Durrani in question- do a google search please! I am not going to educate you on him! you are really missing out on something!) My sense of committment does not equate to only "me and you" to the exclusion of all others. trust me! it never becomes "us".

So! the moral of the story is, Dilli door hi nahin, pahuchna namumkin hain! (I am still learning the language)

All what I can do right now is to wish my self luck- Better luck next time mate! actually better luck next life- if with all the bitchiness I have exhibited this lifetime (and there is more to come) can be forgiven enough by God to be given another chance to be born as a human being!